I spent a few days in Cardiff visiting with a friend that I hadn't seen in about twenty years. Matt and I met in Sicily when we were both in Junior High School. Actually, we met on the plane on the way overseas, my father was in the Navy and his mother was a teacher, both were newly assigned to the base near Catania. We thought it was amusing that the first person each of us met in our new school didn't even live there yet. After about three years my Dad was stationed back stateside, Matt's family stayed long enough for him to graduate and he chose to stay overseas.
Social networks have a way of making the world a smaller place, all sorts of people from your past can sneak back into your life. Most of the time they are harmless, guys from school that you vaguely remember, girls from school that you are trying to forget, and old friends that pop in with the question, "Hey, did you live in Sicily in the mid eighties?" From there it didn't take long to relive the good ol' days, catch up with the last couple or so decades and plan a trip to Cardiff.
Stepping off the train and seeing him in person after all these years was one of those moments where you would think one of us would say something so profoundly memorable that we would repeat the story of two friends reuniting after so many years with all of the bravado of Neil Arnstrong recounting his first steps on the moon, but instead, "Dude, you look just like Ozzy!", was the best I could come up with.
That first day was spent with Matt humoring me and giving me the Doctor Who / Torchwood tour of Cardiff, I insisted on hanging out and yelling "I know you're down there!" to the fountain that is depicted as the secret headquarters of Torchwood. We even stumbled into an old blue Police Box which was disappointingly NOT larger on the inside and smelled more like a port-a-potty than a Timelord's mode of transport.
After a few days the novelty of the TV side of Cardiff began to wear off and we found ourselves eating fish and chips (because it's England) in a nice park with rolling green fields lined with trees and surrounded by cottages and a farmhouse not far off in the distance.
As we sat there eating and joking around remembering how we would torment our old English teacher with some of the stupid pranks we pulled, we began to hear a strange buzzing noise and then a loud clap of thunder. Looking in the direction of the thunder we saw what looked like a giant white and black bird materialize about thirty feet in the air over the hill closest to us. This was no ordinary bird, it was as large as a person with long thick human like legs covered in white feathers. It flew awkwardly overhead struggling as it pumped it's large black tipped wings.
We watched as it flew just over our heads and landed just on the edge of the clump of trees nearest us. "What the heck is that?", Matt asked as he struggled to keep his seat on the table. Before I could answer a little boy came running over the hill, where the bird-thing materialized, giggling and yelling, "There you are! Wait, wait, I want to pet you!"
The boy made it past us and to the creature, before we could even think clearly the little boy was standing at the edge of the wood with the bird-thing towering over him. Matt and I immediately ran toward the both of them as the boy tried to pet the creature. The beak snapped shut just as Matt swept the boy up and moved away. "How rude!" cried the bird-thing.
I must have stood there with my mouth draped open a bit too long, I was frozen, nose to beak with this creature that up close looked more human than bird and it was looking in my mouth. "I'm hungry." It said in its parrot like voice as it lifted it's head slightly to look over my shoulder at the boy.
"No! You stay away from him." I said, holding the creature back as it pushed against me to get at the boy. I pushed back, "Go away!" The bird-thing took a step back, puffed up it's feathers, and preened itself a little, "No touch.." It said, then it made two awkward leaps, "I'm hungry" , flapped it's wings and flew off toward the farmhouse.
Matt was busy talking to the boy and found out his name was Reggie. It turned out that Reggie's mother was a maid at the farm house. I thought it was odd that a farmer would have a maid but then Reggie told us the farmhouse was where all the magic men lived. Yeah....made perfect sense to me too. All we knew was this day had turned pretty weird and the farm house was where the bird-thing went so we were heading there as well.
Just as we turn to head toward the farmhouse three soldiers step out of the woods, "Halt!" Yells one them, "Who?" Matt yells back. Two of the soldiers stop walking and look to the soldier in the middle who I can only assume is the leader of this trio. He barks, "Who are you and what are you doing here?"
At this point I cannot resist the opportunity, especially with all of the weirdness we have already seen today. My mental filter shuts down as I do my best royal bow and say, "I'm the Doctor and we are here to save the world." I hear Matt groan behind me and then there is nothing but silence..... for what seemed like an eternity. I looked up from my bow, "Anyone?.......get it?.....oh come on! We are in Cardiff......the Doctor......save the world?" They just stood there staring at me till finally one of them said, "You can't be the Doctor, you're American." I straightened from my bow and pointed at the soldier that just spoke and said, “ You I like, the rest? Meh, not so much.”
The lead soldier mumbled something under his breath about “Americans…” and, “Having to be cute…” Then he spoke up, “ What do you know about that….thing?” I pointed to the farmhouse and said, “It went over there.” “And it speaks.” Matt added. “And it’s hungry” we both said.
The lead soldier nodded to one of the men and that man began speaking into his radio. “Follow me the lead soldier said and we all began walking toward the farmhouse. Matt stopped, “Hey, where is Reggie?” The radio man spoke into his radio, paused and then addressed the lead soldier, “Sir, one of the forward teams saw the boy enter the farmhouse grounds.”
We continued to move closer to the house, as we did, several other teams of soldiers joined us from wherever they were hidden in the woods. I couldn’t believe how many there were. Where did they come from? How did they get here so quickly?
The house was a pretty good sized farm house made of stone, with a large wrap around porch and a thatch roof. I remembered what the boy Reggie said about this place and the “Magic Men” and began to smile. Suddenly there was a commotion inside the house, men in robes came running out of the house yelling and holding on to one another. To me it was pretty funny, I yelled over to the lead soldier, “Hey check it out, it’s a Harry Potter Larping Club!” the lead soldier turned and smiled, “Kinda the pot calling the kettle black now isn’t it ‘Doctor’?” “Touche mister grumpy”, Is what I wanted to say to him but decided against it.
It looked like all of the robed men that were going to run out of the house finally had, but there was still breaking noises and sounds of a struggle coming from inside. The lead soldier looked at us and said, “You two stay here!” and advanced to the porch. Matt and I looked at each other, smiled and followed right behind the rest of the soldiers until we were able to see through a window.
Inside there were five older men in bright red robes, one of them was holding a book in one hand and a brass bowl with some liquid in the other. The other four men were running around the room trying to catch the bird-thing as it was screaming and clucking like a giant chicken. It reminded me of the rodeo when I was young and all of the kids would get in the ring and try and catch the chicken for a prize. Except that this chicken was six feet tall and the kids are seventy year old men tripping over furniture and getting slammed into walls. In the far corner of the room I see Reggie sitting with his arms around his knees watching the whole scene play out. He looks fascinated. The soldiers wait patiently, my guess is they are waiting to see if the bird-thing gets out before they try to shoot it in all of the chaos going on in the house.
The four old men finally get a good hold on the creature, but it has really taken it’s toll on them. They are bloodied and bruised, one of them has even had his robe torn off. (I’m pretty sure that old man now sees the value in wearing some clothes under the ol’ robe no matter how hot it is.) The four men move the creature closer to the man with the book and the bowl, who is now chanting something he is reading from the book, the bird-thing starts to struggle and scream and they bring it closer. The chanting man raises up the bowl and pours it over the head of the creature. There is a bright white flash of light and a thunder clap that knocks us all back away from the house. The bird-thing is gone.
The soldiers all move into the house to make sure the creature is gone, one soldier guides Reggie out of the house and leaves him with us until his mother can return from the stores. I look down at Reggie, “Man, that was intense, huh?” Reggie looks up with a sinister smile and says, “Wait till you see what they send tomorrow.”
