I keep getting random emails for a guy named Mike. For a while I have been just deleting them and /or telling the people that I am not who they are trying to reach......
Then I thought, "Why not have fun with this?" so here is what I do now:
Dear, Friend of Mike,
Although I thank you for the inclusion of a peek into your life, I have to once again inform you (and all of your friends) That I am not who you think I am. My name is not Mike and I'm pretty sure we have never met. We are going on several years now that I have had the Jabberwokey account and have told several people that they have the wrong person.
As much as it seems that this Mike has a LOT of friends who are into a lot of interesting things with their time, I have to really question the level of friendship they have. If Mike is really a part of this massive group of friends and they are truly as close as they seem, then how come none of you have his current e-mail address?
My theory is that Mike is a part of a secret orginization bent on world domination and he was captured while trying to obtain the plans for a car that runs on water. The car's designer is none other than the young hippy scientist Doctor Ottovis Mind, who plans to bring the oil industry to its knees by distributing his water car plans to the entire world using the internet thus providing free energy to everyone.
Mike blew his cover when one of Dr. Mind's followers smelled meat on his breath. After a long and arduous reconfiguration process, Mikes mind has been tweaked, streched and prodded to the point of total acceptance to the philosophies and earthy lifestyle of Dr. Mind and his followers. In short, Mike has learned to love and embrace the smell of pachouli.
I suspect that if ALL of dear Mike's friends rally together to put the word out that this is no longer his e-mail address and that poor Michael is out there somewhere lost, alone, and brainwashed to eat organic foods, maybe one of you dear friends will find him and be able to bring him back to the person he once was. With a new email address, of course.
Next time you are at the airport and someone calls you brother and tries to hand you a flower, look closely......it might be your friend Mike.
