bug you.

This weekend, The family (Family includes our awesome friends who always assist us in our stranger activities) found their way to downtown Raleigh for the annual event known as BUGFEST!!!!   The event was centered around Raleigh's Natural Science Museum which is a treat all by itself, but this weekend it was full of BUGS!

I actually learned a few things.... Did you know that a Tarantula can throw its leg hairs at you if you agitate it? Did you know that Monarch butterflies are poisonous if you eat them and there are other breeds that have the same coloration so that animals think they are Monarchs so other animals won't eat them?  Do you think there are ever moments in the animal kingdom where a bird looks at another bird and argues, "No it's not, the poisonous ones are bigger, and I'm hungry!" and when he is mistaken do you think the other bird flies down and says, "I told you so!"  Yeah.....me neither...

One of the coolest things I learned about was a Tardigrade..... No it's not the grade you get because you are late from class... it's a microscopic creature that is kinda cute, but the thing that is awesome about them is they can survive almost anything. They are everywhere as well, they can be dried out, frozen, exposed to extreme heat and cold and even be exposed to the vacuum of space and they will survive. Pretty cool.

Bugfest had a little bit for everyone in the family. From artwork to games to science projects to jumphouses for the kiddies to the surprisingly popular Arthropod Cafe.  Yes ladies and gentlemen, this is where local eateries are encouraged to INCLUDE the bugs into their menus.... and people line up to try it.  I have to admit, my "I Dare You" bar went up a little bit this weekend. There were thai noodles with chili powder and crickets, Bread topped with lettuce, crickets and chopped tomato, Tossed cricket salad with lettuce and crunchy fried mealworm croutons. Jambalya with mealworms and crickets, chocolate bars with the same but my favorite was the oatmeal and cranberry cookie with chopped up mealworms and crickets. Mmmmm.....

 I tried to get my son to participate in the bug eating novelty but "No, daddy." was all I could get. Which is amusing to me because I have seen him dip pizza into milk and put ketchup into his applesauce.... I tried the lead by example tactic and put a cricket on my tounge, "Mmmmm, see?"..... "no daddy", I even went to the bible..... "Hey buddy, what was the name of the guy you learned about last week?"........"John the Baptist"....."Yeah, didn't he eat bugs?"...... he looked up, "He ate honey too, can I have a strawberry off that tray?"  there was no way he was going to join us in our silliness.

All in all the food wasn't really that bad, the crickets weren't my favorite, it had to do with the legs....I kept having to spit out the legs, the mealworms were better when crunchy and seasoned. I actually had more of a problem with the lettuce that was used in one of the salads, other than the legs it was the only thing I spit out.

At one point, sadly, my son dropped the strawberry he was eating and my wife picked it up and threw it away....This made me laugh.....it was thrown away because it hit the ground.......but it came off of a tray full of bugs.


I can't say that I will make a habit of it or search out eateries that serve bugs regularly but at least I know If I'm out there lost in the wilderness and need to eat something to survive......I will try that much harder to catch that furry little creature with sticks and rocks.......but if that doesn't work I know that annoying little chirping cricket is just making it easier for me to find my next meal.....

Thank you for reading.
Tom.

share a story.

I am re-posting this, I found this on a friend's site, thought it needed more attention....



Hello Everyone, For those of you who are married and those of you who are in love and planning to get married I have something priceless to share with you!


Please take just 5 Minutes of your time to read the following post and I think you that you will never look at marriage the same way again!

Its a story about a married couple, Continue reading below...



When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce.

I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other.

She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see.To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger.

I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote,

I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.



That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.





My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....



The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.

Do have a real happy marriage!

-Dr. Najeeb

I share this because it is very easy to fall into a rut in a marriage. Too many times I have seen people split who shouldn't have, maybe if they found that closeness again as a couple they could find the spark of life again as individuals.

Thank you for reading,
Tom.

tell you why.

Earlier today I was asked, "Why would you want to work with High School kids at your church?".... Well, the short answer is, "Because they're awesome!!!"

The people that ask me this usually squish up their face like they just smelled something foul at the same time. I always want to say to them, "You don't really have to make that face, they're just teenagers.....only some of them smell."

For the most part, I volunteer because it is fun, but there are so many other reasons as well. I have never experienced a High School Ministry growing up, It's not something that was even on my radar. Like many of the people who ask me this question (I can tell just by the way they squish up their faces) I had a very tainted view of what a ministry like this was all about. It is not an advanced sunday school where the church herds the teens so the adults don't have to deal with them. It is a Church for young adults who actually want to be there and share the word of Jesus. It is a community of loving caring people who share their worries, doubts, fears and blessings with one another, who lift each other up when they fall, give each other strength, and teach each other how to be better people. Oh my goodness it's just like church.......only with better music! (hahaha)

I honestly believe I learn more from these students than they will ever learn from me. I am just support when needed.

I feel like a truly healthy high school ministry can create leaders from the next generation that were better than the prior. It better prepares the students for the world ahead of them by having them engage in the world around them now. There is accountability and support from not only their peers but from the leaders who are serving them now. Rarely have I seen a student there that didn't truly want to be there.

Now, don't get me wrong, it is not without it's fair share of drama and challenge. Show me one thing in life that isn't without drama and challenge and I will tell you to look deeper. Drama, insecurities, arguements and misunderstandings are a major part of life in general, but in the teenage world they can be amplified.

Through the years adults have either learned how to control some of the emotions, become a bit numb to their surroundings or maybe even a little cynical about the goings on of their everyday lives. I am guilty of it myself. Think about this, when was the last time you truly cared about something so deeply that it made you angry, sad, excited, cautious, giddy, and exhausted all at the same time? When was the last time you called everyone you know to tell them about something silly that happened to you, and couldn't wait till the next day when you could see them and tell them again in person?

As adults we have lost all of that wonder. We don't even speak the same language anymore, the reason adults and teens stare blankly at each other is because we are standing in different dimensions within the same space. We see each other, we hear each other, (some times we can even smell each other..ugh) we speak the same language but most of the time we are not communicating. Adults are stuck in the realm of everyday life, kind of like the guy in the old Duncan Donuts commercial where he gets up every morning, day after day muttering to himself, "Time to make the donuts..." while teens are experiencing the biggest social events of their lives......Highschool.

Their lives are at warp speed right now, everything is constantly moving, never stopping, classes, friends, learning to drive, trying to get a job, applying for college, parents threatening responsibility, boyfriends / girlfriends, best friends, enemies, the social drama, love stress, peer pressure and the constant threat that the real world is BANGING ON THEIR DOOR!........

When that door is opened, without the guidance of caring adults there to help slow them down to the speed of the real world, they will run straight into it at full speed like a bullet to a cinder block wall and when the dust finally settles they will have the same look on their face that I had after my graduation....."What happened? Where do I go from here?"

Growing up I never had the community structure that our teens have. I never had a group of adults who cared about who I was and where I might be going in life, who took the time to get to know me and share their experiences with me. I know I will never fully learn their language again, and to be honest I don't think I should have to (Man, I can't even get the cool handshakes right but who cares, right?) as long as I stay real to myself and to them.

I work with them because guidance should be something that is given willingly, and freely. It may not be all fun and sunshine but it is completely worth it.


Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

(Proverbs 22:6 ESV)


Thank you for reading.
Tom.