The wooden floor within the wide open room smelled of age. We pass by the silent sentinels of entertainment from an era when triangles hunted massive digital rocks and Italian plumbers were locked in mortal combat with a giant misnamed gorilla to save a princess and collect a bit of coin. The center of the room is lined with tape in an oval pattern and the crowd is beginning to form just outside the largest of the ovals, "Eighteen and younger must sit at least three feet behing the yellow tape." Announces the disembodied voice of the announcer.
The oval comes alive with the sound of wheels to wood as Joan Jett hates herself for loving you over the loud speaker. Warriors clad in fishnet stockings, spandex miniskirts, gold lamay leopard print panties and hot pink leg warmers thunder around the oval tweaking the individuality of their uniforms as they warm up for the days battle.
The creativity and individuality continues further than the apparel, with Pseudonyms like Hellen Wheels, Alice in Thunderland, Molly Hatchet and Killer Karla, they rival any denizen of the dance pole but that creativity is about as far as the comparison goes. With their anonymity secure they play out their roles so well the line is drawn and only an insane person who has no love of his own teeth would wave a dollar at one of these girls and yell "Take it off, baby!".
Scanning the crowd, I noticed that this is not just a sporting event but more of a subculture. The fans consisted of only what I could describe as Other Teams, Wannabes, Used to bes, and families. It was a whole subculture unto itself. I did get a glimpse of what regular folks feel when they are dragged to a Sci-fi convention. Oh The Cheetah face painted guy who was the mascot for one of the teams bears mentioning just for the entertainment factor. Every time his team scored he runs full speed around the track waving a huge flag. Yes it was amusing to see how slowly he would run as the match went on.
If you haven't guessed by now I am talking about Roller Derby. I have to confess, It was not as exciting as I thought it would be. It held my sons attention for a whole seven minutes before he was distracted by popcorn and I have to say if it wasn't for some of the skimpy outfits on the track and in the crowd I would have had my own bag of popcorn to distract me.
In my honest opinion, the roller derby was as flat as the track they were racing on. If I find a banked track roller derby I might give it another try, but for now I'll stick to car shows.
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